General SMS

How many letters are in the Alphabet? Nineteen. Because ET went Home on a UFO and the FBI went after him! What is the difference between blondes and traffic signs? Some traffic signs say stop How do you keep an idiot in suspense............?? Tell you later........ Why don't blondes talk whilst having sex? Because their mums told them not to talk to strangers! Never let a man's mind wander, It's too little to be out on it's own!!!! What beats his chest and swings from Christmas cake to Christmas cake? Tarzipan! Mum, Can I have a dog for Christmas? No you can have turkey like everyone else ! Who is never hungry at Christmas? The turkey - he's always stuffed ! We had grandma for Christmas dinner? Really, we had turkey! This turkey tastes like an old settee. Well, you asked for something with plenty of stuffing. What does Father Christmas write on his Christmas cards? ABCDEFGHIJKMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ (No-L !!) Why did the blond woman sneak past the pharmacy? She didn't want to wake the sleeping tablets! The average woman would rather have beauty than brains... Because the average man can see better than he can think What's the difference between Bigfoot and intelligent men? Big foot has been spotted a few times What did the bartender say to the jumper cables when they walked into the bar? Ok you 2, don't start anything. Two blondes were driving to Disney Land when they saw a sign that read, "Disney Land left" So they turned round and went home. Drink until she's cute But stop before the wedding! Guy asks his waiter how they prepare their chicken. The waiter replies 'nothing special - we just flat out tell 'em they're gonna die'. He said: "I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it." She said: "You wear underpants, don't you?" What's the difference between men and women? A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need; a man wants every woman to satisfy his one need